“Love begins at home, and it is not how much we do, but how much love we put in the action that we do.” – Mother Teresa, 1979 Noble Peace Price Acceptance Speech

Do you agree that when our homes are harmonious and loving, we can be more effective in living our lives of purpose? How can we achieve a more harmonious home environment? There are countless self-help techniques out there that can teach us to be aware and mindful parents, children, siblings and friends with the ultimate goal of living authentically with compassion and empathy as well as being supportive of one another’s dreams.

I would like to propose that sometimes words and thoughts are unnecessary, in our quest to feel love and connection. In our modern, digital world, we have moved away from connecting as human beings through platonic touch. In fact, we are demonizing touch as bordering on sexual misconduct, to the point that some schools have implemented “no-touch policies”.

This is a shame because human touch has been shown to have some incredibly profound emotional and physical health benefits. Touch is truly fundamental to human communication, bonding, and health.

Here are some documented benefits of touch: it boosts the immune system, promotes trust, decreases violent behavior, improves teamwork, lowers heart rate and blood pressure and fosters compassion.

Take 5-10 minutes every day to touch at least one of your family members with a technique that everyone can practice at home without a lengthy and costly certification.

This technique is called the ‘M’ Technique© developed by Jane Buckle, PhD, RN and author of the widely used text, “Clinical Aromatherapy: Essential Oils in Healthcare.” The ‘M’ Technique© follows a set structure with a gentle touch. It empowers normal people to foster wellness and harmony in their own homes as it is quick to learn and quick to do. The technique is gentle and soothing and has been nicknamed “physical hypnotherapy”.

The combination of the ‘M’ Technique© and aromatherapy is synergistically powerful. Most of the essential oils evaporates during the technique and the benefits are a combination of both the topically applied and inhaled essential oils. Aromatherapy is the use of essential oils from plants (flowers, herbs, or trees) as therapy to improve physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being.

Topical application of the essential oils using the ‘M’ Technique© are diluted accordingly with unscented creams or your choice of organic carrier oil such as kukui nut, jojoba or sweet almond oil. It is not advised to perform the ‘M’ Technique© on an open wound or traumatized site.

A general rule of thumb is to add 10 to 20 drops of essential oils to 1 oz of  carrier oil or cream. For children under 7 and frail individuals, begin with 7-10 drops per 1 oz of carrier oil or cream. Give your recipient a few choices of essential oils and ask him/her to choose one.

I only use Young Living Essential Oils because of their superior qualities due to the love and care the plants have been given from the farms that Young Living owns around the world as well as the partner farms and certified suppliers that all have the exact same Seed to Seal quality guarantee. They are grown without chemicals, harvested at the right time of day and year, distilled for the right length of time. Here are a few of my favorites from Young Living Essential Oils:

  • Lavender
  • Stress Away
  • Grounding
  • Joy
  • Valor
  • Sacred Mountain

Here is a brief outline of the ‘M’ Technique© on the hands:

  1. Allow the recipient to sit in a relaxed posture, use pillows if necessary. Face your receiver without twisting your body.
  2. On a scale of 1-10, 1 being the least pressure, you want to stroke at a pressure of 3, according to your receiver’s scale.
  3. Pour half a tablespoon of the blend into your palm and rub it clockwise 3 times.
  4. First, apply the blend on the hands and arms (up to the elbow) of the receiver to spread it around.  Fig 1
  5. Then, start by stroking up and down the receiver’s arm, from the wrist to just under the elbow, 3 times slowly and gently.
  6. With the receiver’s palm facing down, move your thumbs from the center of the receiver’s hand toward the edge of the hands. Us the same stroke moving from the wrist down to the knuckles. Repeat 3 times.  Fig 2.
    Fig 3.
  7. Now, circle your thumb around each knuckle of the receiver’s little finger 3 times. As you reach the final knuckle near the tip of the finger, hold the finger with the index and middle finger like a scissor and push on the tip of the finger with your thumb. Move the fingers down towards the tip and then finish by stroking gently from the receiver’s hand all the way to the tip and setting the finger down gently.  Fig 4.

Fig 5.

Fig 6.

8. Repeat for all fingers.

9. Turn the receiver’s hand over with the palm up. Use your thumbs to stretch out the receiver’s palms from the midline to the edges. Move from the wrist down to the knuckles. Repeat 3 times.

Fig 7.

Fig 8.

10. Turn the receiver’s hand over again so the palm is facing downward. Hold the hand like a handshake in one hand and with the other, stroke up and down the arm 3 times just like in the beginning of the technique.

Fig 9.

11. Gently lay the hand back down and give each other a smile!


Watch this video for a visual guide and go manifest some love in your home!